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10 Types of Parents at Kids Parties… How to Avoid Them!

10 Types of Parents at Kids Parties… How to Avoid Them!

The Workaholic

They corner you at every kid’s party, not to talk about dirty diapers or vaccination conspiracies, but to tell you about their latest business venture. Luckily this can only happen when they are not “too busy” scrolling through tomorrows work schedule on their latest iPad.

Simply leaving unattended newspapers or even placing random business cards all around the venue can often help escape this type of parent.

The Wine Lover

This kind of parent always magically spawns wine or any other kind of alcohol from thin air. Not only do they scare you a little, they often drink wine from plastic cups. Rather than going to a certain double lettered meeting, they prefer to get drunk using their ninja like skills. By the way, check out our “Mommy Spilled Her Wine Again Onesie”

This type of parent can often be avoided with intellectual conversation. If all else fails, get a cup of coffee; this will most likely cause them to shudder.

The Hipster

They dress their kids in skinny jeans and usually wear nothing but pretty damn awesome t-shirts. (This can be found at You see what we did there… Hipsters often use their children as animated canvases. They let their children wear oversize glasses; even if they don’t need them.

Listening or talking about mainstream music will effectively scare them away. Before you avoid them, please tell them about {Kid}GotStyle – Thanks in advance!

The Social Media Addict

Often referred to as photo whores or social psychos. This kind of parent can’t go one minute without posting a selfie online, with, or without their kids. To determine the severity of their social media addiction, ask them if they have a Google+ account. If yes, proceed with caution.

To avoid the social media addict… Wait don’t worry about having to avoid them, the social media addict will most likely be avoiding you. There are only so many minutes in a day, selfies take time…

The Overwhelmed

Making Walking Dead look like child’s play, the overwhelmed often looks like they haven’t slept in 3 – 4 days. Often accompanied by the smell of old cheese, the overwhelmed parent never offers to help with anything on play dates.

To avoid the overwhelmed, all you need to do is open up your A.D.H.D taps. Running around pretending to be working will often cause severe anxiety and send them for the hills… If the hills are not too far…

The Oblivious

While deep in conversation with you, notice that the oblivious parents will focus on nothing but your face. This might be the most dangerous type of parent to have around. They won’t realize that their child is on the edge of a ledge, or even have a booger that’s about to manifest into a fully-fledged monster.

The only way to avoid this kind of parent is to leave the room for 2 – 3 min consecutively. During this time, pray they start talking to someone else. If they do, be thankful, you should be safe.

The General

Yes sir! With military precision, people will walk around trying to hide from the general. Not only do they have way too many rules, they usually enforce them on everybody around them. Trust me, the kids are as scared of this kind of parent as you are. Avoiding them might have merciless consequences.

There is no easy way to avoid the general. Luckily, they are usually too busy enforcing rules to spend much time socializing with interesting parents. This should be used to your advantage.

The Helicopter

They are all over their children, hovering, waiting… They spend all day within an arms length of their children, usually taking the job VERY seriously. New dads often take up the helicopter role, especially if they are “stay at home” type dads.

They are often so involved with their children that they don’t need to be avoided.

The Effortlessly Cool

This is the most highly sought after parenting type known to modern man. Some say it’s mythical… They make parenting seem awesome and effortless. They do everything according to a legendary book that can apparently only be found at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They make changing diapers look like fun. (Apparently they all shop at {Kid}GotStyle by the way)

Under no circumstances should this parent be avoided. Learn from them young grasshopper…

The Braggart

Often a role taken up my mothers with no borders. They love bragging about every single thing their offspring does. Most likely, you will hear about their first time their kid used a spoon with the relevant hand.

The worst thing you can do is to pretend to care, this will set off a series of events that are really difficult to control. To avoid this kind of parent, tell them you don’t give a sh*t.

And then there’s YOU!

The best type of parent of them all… Don’t worry, you totally got this! As long as you shop at {Kid}GotStyle, it doesn’t really matter what type of parent you are, you will always be AWESOME!

Disclaimer: This article was written by an illiterate monkey with absolutely no sense of grammar or spelling.


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